[Subscribe to alt.sports.soccer.european.uk]



1  Is John Burns a barely literate schoolboy?

   No, despite all indications to the contrary, Johnners is an awfully
clever chappie.  


2  How do we know this?

   Because John has been known to append his degree to some of his
postings in other newsgroups.  Johnners tells these ngs that he has a
BSc Honours in Computer Science and therefore can count.


3  What does this tell us about John?

  That when John is losing an argument he falls back on his academic
qualifications as a means of suggesting that he must therefore be right,
and others wrong.  This differs from his tactics in this newsgroup
whereby he repeats a falsehood so often that at least HE believes he is
right.


4  Is it normal to add your academic qualifications to your postings?

   No.  It is, in fact, quite sad. 


5  Where does John live?

  He lives in a 6th floor apartment near the centre of London.  He is
awfully troubled by rubber dust (but sadly only from car tyres)


6  Does living near the centre of London make John a Cockney?

   After his most recent insult (or 'inslut' as Johnners spells it) of
"barra boy" aimed at a WHU supporter this seems unlikely.


7  Does John get out much?

  Oh yes.  To quote:

> I have been to the USA on many occasions, working for US companies as well
> as holidays

> I have never seen a haze in any European city  
  He obviously hasn't been to Amsterdam! 

> I am very much in touch with the real world, having been around about half
> of it
  We shall refrain from asking the obvious question.



8  Is John's command of English any better in other newsgroups?

  Sadly, no.  To quote:

> The Shar of Iran

> no matter how much money there is in party koffers

> Insurance consumes paper, lawyer's time
                            --------

> buses, taxi's, gas, electricity, post office
         -------

> But the in the long term 

> Design urban areas to drasitically reduce

Doesn't that darned greengrocer's apostrophe get everywhere?


9  Is John a 'modern man'

  No he seems to be an unreconstructed sexist.  To quote:

> I can't see why a housewife needs a 3 to 4 litre engine to go to the shops.
> In the rest of the world the average housewife would have a 1 litre engine
> in a small hatchback car


10  What conclusion are we to draw about Johnners?

    The words 'prat', 'absolute' and 'an' come to mind.

Paul
BA (Economics)  oops!