Choose 7 failed attempts at the European Cup
Choose to be knocked out of Europe 9 times in 10 seasons
Choose to be the European laughing stock
Choose to waste countless millions
Choose to support a team from a city you've never even been to
Choose whining
Choose to wear shit grey shirts then blame them when Southampton stuff you
Choose to release Cantona because he's the only one who recognises how shit Cole is
Choose cheating
Choose not to condemn your player after he has just been convicted of murder
Choose to spend your career in the reserves because the money's good
Choose a psychopathic Irishman for your captain and call him a gifted visionary
Choose to waste 7 million on Cole
Choose the arrogance to field your reserve team and then bleat about the consequences
Choose a racist albino with pink eyes and a red nose as your goalkeeper
Choose not to be liked by anyone and pretend not to care
Choose your own referees and assistants - except in Europe
Choose a Scandinavian paper boy as your top goalscorer
Choose to have the biggest squad in British football then complain about injuries
Choose your club before your country
Choose Wales before England
Choose Paddy Roach
Choose to be arse licked by the media and then accuse them of anti-United bias
Choose to forget 1969 to 1993 ever existed
Choose to change the team you support every 10 years
Choose to shield your players from TV interviews until they can read and write
Choose Remi Moses
Choose to change your kit 6 times a season
Choose self deception and delusions of grandeur
Choose the highlight of your club's history as an air disaster
Choose your best player as an incoherent, wife beating, alcoholic Irishman
Choose to poach your 'impressive youth policy' from other clubs
Choose to sign a world class centre forward beginning with SH and pretend not to care when you get Sheringham instead of Shearer
Choose to go for the triple and end up with fuck all
Choose embarassment
Choose UNITED