On Sun, 30 May 2004 13:38:21 +0100, Joe Horowitz wrote:
>
> "Demosthenes" <demosthenes@theonering.net> wrote in message
> news:94ijb0l7g1fpmj5ai2k2tg8ippoa926dfe@4ax.com...
> > On Sun, 30 May 2004 11:04:31 +0100, "Joe Horowitz"
> > <jh007c3183NOSPAM@blueyonder.co.uk> wrote:
> > >
> > >Things could have been so very, very different for all of us.
> >
> > You mean there might be an alternative universe where Ben isn't a fat
> > miserable cunt? Get out of it, I don't believe you.
>
> There are infinite alternative universes containing every possible
combination of
> everything.  I've even been to some of them.
>

That was a fabulous weekend.

Back in the good old days, when Joe was still the gaffer, we
convinced the UKSF XI board that we were going to nip across to the
continent to do a wee bit of scouting. Of course, they swallowed it
hook, line and sinker. We actually blew our expenses account on
transcending metaphysical boundaries just so we could experience how
certain UKSFers lives turned out in different realities.

Our first stop was Waterford in reality 381757473. It turned out in
that reality Mikey was actually conjoined twins. But not conjoined
from birth, he was just normal twins but he spent so much time
fucking himself that everyone just though they couldn't be separated
without the help of a life-threatening operation.

In reality 2 we went to Essex to see James Cook. Turns out he no
longer lived there. He had sold up all his material possession to set
up a Buddhist puppy sanctuary for maligned puppies in Nepal.

When we called in on JdS, in reality 895847837572311, we were amazed
to discover he was alive and well and spent his days happily managing
the finances of a small family of Swedish porn stars with his lovely
wife, Edward.

Things started to get a bit weird when we dropped in on Crankshaw in
reality 4939485. It came as a great surprise to learn that he was
only four years old and still not potty trained. The funny thing was
that he still organised the UKSF FF champions league stuff. And very
well, I might add.

I must point out that at this point not one of those cunts had
offered us any booze or drugs.

It was with this in mind that we decided to pay Parkes a visit. Big
mistake choosing reality 10074549. Turns out Al was a total wanker
married to some bird from Luton. She was most accommodating, though.
Nice baps, too.

I don't know which one of us had the brainwave to try reality 13 for
our visit to Ben, but, it seemed like a good idea at the time.

Guess what?
--
rob at rjp.clara.net

> What's the fucking point of having a sig?

To make sure the world knows how bad James Cook is at typing.